The Opposite of Emotionless
by T. Vincente
Summary: Sometimes, looking back over what you've had is the best way to appreciate what you've got now. Other times? You just have to open your eyes and see things you've never seen before. Fluffy Dave/Kurt written for GKM.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: **Spoilers through 3x14 (On My Way); a couple of very mild, non-graphic mentions of attempted suicide.**  
**

**Notes:** This is being written as a fill for Glee's kink meme for the prompt - _"Dave/Kurt, sweet!sex, 'I just want some serious affectionate lovemaking between the two. Karofsky's super gentle and attentive and takes care of his boy. And Kurt loves it, and loves Karofsky too.' "_

So this is the result and it's sort of an introspective from Kurt's point of view. It's FaPWP - fluff and porn (eventually) without plot. :)

* * *

Kurt hates comparing Dave to Blaine, he really does. More often than not, the comparison casts Blaine in an unfavorable light and that seems dishonorable somehow, and petty; an insult to the memory of his first romantic relationship.

But at times, it's pretty much impossible _not_ to compare.

Like when Glee club is considering a version of Mr. Hot Spanish Teacher Martinez's 'Sexy and I Know It' for the final school assembly of the year and they're trying out different moves for the choreography. Rehearsal is almost over and Dave is sitting in a chair near the door, waiting patiently for them to finish because he and Kurt are hitting the mall (Kurt insists he needs new PJs for their trip to Nationals) after practice, followed by dinner at Breadstix.

Kurt is cutting loose and having fun, letting his hips roll and thrust and swivel and shimmy in time with the music, laughing both at himself and at Finn's awkward, scarecrow-in-the-wind style of dancing, when he looks up and catches Dave's eye. The expression on Dave's face – awe and lust and _hunger_ – hits Kurt with a visceral twist and throb, low in his gut, in his groin.

And then he notices that Dave's face and neck are red and he sees him pull his jacket around from the back of his chair – trying for casual nonchalance - to lay across his lap. Kurt knows what that means because the same thing is happening to him, but he doesn't have the luxury of hiding it behind a jacket and his pants are a lot more form-fitting than Dave's, so it's lucky that just at that moment Mr. Schue calls it a wrap for the day.

Kurt thinks that the whole exchange has gone unnoticed by anyone else and is giving himself a mental pat on the back for his amazing powers of discretion, when Puck walks by, leans in close, and whispers into Kurt's ear, '_Eww_', then laughs and pokes Kurt in the side. As he passes Dave, Puck can't resist leaning over and whispering something to him, too, and Dave turns impossibly redder and scowls at Puck who just laughs again, loudly, and gives Dave a slap on the back.

Later, in Dave's truck, they kiss until they're both panting and breathless and when Dave tells Kurt, "Oh my god, you have no idea what watching you was doing to me," and then whispers, "You're so fucking sexy it _hurts_," Kurt can't help it, can't help thinking of Blaine. In a dark little corner of his mind he hears, '_Are you okay? You kept making those weird faces… it looked like you were having gas pains or something.' _Kurt mentally sing-songs, 'La la la, not listening' and kisses Dave again.

* * *

Or, like when he and Dave are walking through the crowded halls of McKinley, hand-in-hand. Kurt can't help comparing then, either.

Coming out wasn't Dave's choice, but now that it's been forced, he's come out with a vengeance. He's bold and in-your-face with his affection for Kurt and he doesn't hesitate to turn his trademark Karofsky glare on anyone who has the nerve to so much as look at him and Kurt funny. And if a quelling look isn't enough to shut the gawkers and naysayers down, he's not above brandishing 'The Fury' while flexing his huge, powerful arms in a show of silent intimidation.

Kurt always rolls his eyes, squeezes Dave's hand, and says, "Okay, Mr. Badass, calm down," but he also smiles and leans in closer against Dave's side. He knows what this is about, knows that Dave now thinks of his suicide attempt as a moment of terrible weakness, a moment of total loss of control over himself and his life. Kurt also knows that Dave feels like he let Nick and the other guys at Thurston chase him away, tail between his legs, and that embarrasses him, makes him feel pathetic, so these little testosterone-fueled displays in the halls of McKinley are just a way to regain some of the pride and dignity Dave's lost.

When Kurt's letter comes – _the_ letter, Kurt's holy grail, his notification that he's made that prestigious final cut and will be attending NYADA in the fall - Dave surprises Kurt at his locker the next day with flowers. He walks up to Kurt with one arm behind his back, grinning from ear to ear, and Kurt barely has time to wonder what he's up to before Dave whips out a huge bouquet of red roses mingled with pink carnations and delicate lily of the valley.

A die-hard romantic through and through, Kurt is instantly a puddle of warm goo. He takes the flowers with a beaming smile and without even thinking about it, leans forward and goes up on tiptoe, intending to kiss Dave's cheek, but before he can, he hears someone give a barking, humorless laugh and say, "Gross. It's bad enough you've gone gay, Karofsky, but _flowers_. Really? Could you _be_ a bigger fag?" It's Scott Cooper, who still hasn't figured out that while there's no shame in being gay, it _is_ a shame to sport a mullet in the year 2012.

Dave glances over at Cooper, and Kurt's mind flashes back to another time, another bouquet of flowers, and an image of Blaine nervously glancing around before giving Kurt's shoulder a manly squeeze along with a quick, 'Thank you'. Dave, however, glares at Cooper, flips him the bird, and then turns back to Kurt. His face gentles and he leans over, big as you please, and presses a warm kiss to Kurt's mouth.

Kurt knows better than anyone how far Dave's come, but still, he's shocked. He's smiling incredulously when Dave ends the kiss. There are groans from a few people in the hall, some malicious, some – like Finn's and Puck's – not, but it doesn't even seem to register with Dave who looks at Kurt with a glowing sort of pride and says, "Congratulations, Kurt, really. I'm so proud of you."

Kurt barely has _time_ to compare, to remember how, with Blaine, his accomplishments always seemed to come in a distant second to whatever Blaine was doing, when it hits him. Going to NYADA means leaving Dave and though they've only been together officially a short time now, Kurt realizes he can't imagine his life without David.

Dave seems to read his mind because he gives Kurt another quick kiss and says, "This doesn't mean goodbye. I know New York is a long way from here, but even if I don't get into NYU, we can make this work. We _will_, I swear." Kurt takes a deep breath, releases a shuddering sigh, gives Dave a tremulous smile, and agrees.

A week and a half later, they celebrate Dave's acceptance to NYU and start making plans to find housing they can share, preferably somewhere that splits the short - very short – distance between NYADA and NYU, and Kurt realizes that this is the happiest he's ever been. Ever.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kurt and Dave go to Scandals, it's impossible, of course, to keep the comparisons from happening.

Dave still likes going there, having a couple of beers, and seeing his old friends. And now, he likes bringing Kurt and having someone to dance with, and snuggle in a dark booth with, and just generally show off to the older Scandals patrons who had, in the past, kindly and patiently assured a frightened, lonely, closeted boy that one day – _one day_ – he _would_ find someone to love who would love him right back.

Slowly nursing his first (and lite) beer, Dave shakes his head 'no' when Tom, the bartender, asks him if he's ready for another. Dave smiles, puts his arm around Kurt's shoulders, and pulls him in close. "Nah," he tells Tom. "I'm driving my boy tonight." He gives Kurt a quick kiss. "I'll be having Coke after this one," he says, holding his half-empty beer bottle up and Tom grins and nods.

At Scandals, Dave is sociable and friendly, but his attention, his _focus_, is all on Kurt. Sitting at the bar with Dave, sipping his crantini, Kurt can't help preening a little, basking in that devoted attention, and he finds himself humming 'I Only Have Eyes for You' under his breath.

The song is on the Scandals jukebox. Kurt remembers watching Blaine and Sebastian stand over the battered old machine with their heads together, remembers Sebastian putting coins in and pushing a few buttons, and then the two of them singing along with The Flamingos, Sebastian all too happy to provide the 'sha bop sha bop' to Blaine's lead. That's a memory that Kurt would love to replace with something better.

He puts his now-empty glass on the bar and stands, and when Dave hurriedly puts his beer bottle down and starts to rise, Kurt lays a hand on his arm. "I'll be right back," he tells Dave and smiles, then walks over to the jukebox, slips a few coins in, and makes his selection.

He returns to the bar and holds his hand out to Dave. "Hey, hot stuff. Wanna dance?" Dave smiles, bright and happy, and nods, and slipping his hand into Kurt's, they take the floor.

This time, when The Flamingos croon, '_My love must be a kind of blind love, I can't see anyone but you_', Kurt feels no disappointment, no bitterness. He sways slowly against Dave and presses a sweet kiss to the sweat-damp hollow at the base of Dave's throat, then smiles up at Dave.

As they dance, one of the Scandals regulars, Rick, a huge, heavily-muscled, bald man with a neatly trimmed salt-and-pepper beard and a leather vest walks by, grins hugely at them, and leans in to kiss first Dave's cheek, then Kurt's. The coarse hairs of his mustache scratch and tickle Kurt's face and he laughs. "What was that for, Rick?" he calls out as the man starts to walk away.

Rick spins around, throws his arms in the air expansively, and shouts, "Young love, darlin', young love!" He laughs and winks at them and moves on to join his partner at the bar, leaving Kurt and Dave feeling even happier than before.

Kurt knows that Rick is genuinely happy for the two of them. The first time Dave brought Kurt to Scandals, Rick had approached Kurt when Dave had excused himself to go to the restroom. He'd frightened Kurt a little; Kurt had taken one look at the bulging muscles, black leather, and tats and started imagining himself thrown on the back of a Harley and driven away somewhere, kicking and screaming, never to be seen again. But Kurt had relaxed with the first words out of Rick's mouth: "Is Dave really doin' okay, kid?" Rick had then proceeded to pour his heart out to Kurt. He'd told him about how busted up they'd all been when word reached Scandals about Dave's attempted suicide, all of them wondering guiltily how they'd missed the signs, how they'd not seen it coming. Rick's eyes had glittered wetly and his nose had turned red and Kurt had realized that Rick was nowhere near as fierce and tough as his exterior might suggest. When Rick had seen Dave returning, he'd quickly asked Kurt, "You're watchin' out for him, right kid?"

"Like a hawk, Rick," Kurt had assured him. "Like a hawk." And Rick had smiled and nodded approvingly. The memory makes Kurt squeeze Dave a little tighter now, and snuggle a little closer as they dance.

Kurt feels Dave's shoulders get tight, tense, and when he looks up he sees Blaine and Sebastian coming into the bar. It's happened before - Lima doesn't exactly have a plethora of gay bars to choose from – and it always feels awkward and _strange _though they've all agreed that there's no need for that and that there's no real reason anymore they can't all be friends.

Still, Kurt looks up at Dave and murmurs, "You want to get out of here?"

"Only if you do," Dave answers, then smiles when Kurt nods, takes his hand, and starts for the door.

There's no way to leave without passing Blaine and Sebastian and when they do, Blaine gives an awkward little wave then says, "You guys aren't leaving because of _us_, are you? You don't have to, you know."

Kurt shakes his head. "No, no, I just have an early day tomorrow," he lies, and feels Dave give his hand a little squeeze. "You boys have fun," he calls over his shoulder as he and Dave head outside into the chilly night air. When Kurt shivers a little, Dave takes off his jacket and puts it around Kurt's shoulders.

"Early day tomorrow, huh?" Dave asks, grinning.

"Mmm hmm," Kurt affirms. "I have to wake up by, oh, eleven-thirty at the latest." He shoots a mischievous glance Dave's way and adds, "I normally sleep until at least noon on Sundays."

Dave laughs and leans over to kiss Kurt's temple, his arm warm and strong and solid around Kurt's shoulder as they walk towards Dave's truck. Kurt doesn't want the memory that suddenly resurfaces, but it's there anyway – _This is the best night of my life. It's the best night. Of my life _– and Kurt remembers how those words were said after Blaine had spent an entire night dancing, laughing, and talking with Sebastian. Maybe Blaine and Sebastian are in Scandals right now making another 'best night'. Kurt's surprised by, and proud of, how little that thought bothers him, actually, and he snuggles against Dave's side.

Dave holds the truck door open for Kurt, closes it behind him, then walks around to get in on the driver's side. "You're okay to drive, right?" Kurt asks.

"Yeah, I never did finish that first beer," Dave answers, but then gives Kurt a sly smile. "I don't know, though," he says, reaching out for Kurt and pulling him close. "Maybe we should sit here for a while, just in case."

Kurt laughs and plays along. "Oh, yeah? You're probably right," he says, then gasps when Dave suddenly covers his mouth with a deep, heated kiss. The mood goes from zero to sixty in three seconds flat, and Kurt finds himself laying back against the upholstered seat with Dave's warm weight pressing down on him.

It's inevitable, really, the next memory that pops up, unwanted, into Kurt's brain. He's suddenly aware of how heavy Dave is, how strong, how in control. Kurt is effectively trapped beneath him, caged within Dave's massive, muscled arms, but as he kisses Dave urgently, giving back as good as he's getting, he realizes that the rising frustration and vague panic he'd felt that night in the Scandals parking lot with Blaine isn't happening here, tonight. On the contrary, Kurt has never felt _safer_, protected from anything that might come his way by Dave's sheltering body.

Kurt's been adored and doted on and treated like a king all night. All week. All _month _that he and Dave have been dating seriously. He's been _respected_ and that turns out to be the most powerful aphrodisiac Kurt has ever known. He moans, low in his throat, and feels his leg leave the floor and wrap around Dave's hip.

The air leaves Dave in a stuttering rush and he grinds jerkily against Kurt, both of them hard and aching. Kurt knows that they need to stop. This – their relationship – is still awfully new. Kurt knows that he's over Blaine, but he also knows that when he and Blaine had sex he'd given a piece of himself away, a little part of his heart that he would never get back and he's not sure he's ready to give yet another part away so soon.

Not to mention, Dave's a virgin. He'd admitted that to Kurt shortly after they began dating. Dave's ready physically – he's _beyond_ ready – but Kurt needs to be sure that he isn't going to be the one to take this huge _thing_ from Dave, this milestone, without also being absolutely sure that he can give Dave the kind of time and commitment that he deserves.

Reluctantly – _so_ reluctantly (god, that feels _good_) – he puts the palms of his hands against Dave's chest and gently pushes. "David, stop," he murmurs, and when Dave hesitates but doesn't move away, he pushes a little harder.

Dave sits up quickly, runs a hand through his hair, and the look on his face is confusion mixed with a little hurt. Kurt's heart drops. He sits up, too, and reaches out to touch the side of Dave's face, but before he can say anything, Dave blurts out, "Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

Kurt leans in quickly and cuts him off with a kiss. "No, no," he whispers. "You didn't do anything wrong, it's just…" He takes a deep breath. "A parking lot isn't really the best place for this," he says, quirking a wry smile. Dave looks so relieved that Kurt hates adding, "And I'm not sure we're quite ready," and sure enough, Dave's face falls, but he nods. "Soon, David," Kurt promises with another kiss. "I'm planning on spending a very long time with you," he says and loves the way the expression on Dave's face instantly lightens, softens. "So we have time. I guess I'm old-fashioned, but… can we take it slow?"

Dave sighs, but he smiles weakly and nods. "Yeah, we can do that." His brow furrows a little. "We can still make out and stuff, though, right?"

Laughing, Kurt pulls him into a hug and squeezes him tightly. "Absolutely, yes," and then sighs happily as Dave squeezes him back, kisses his neck, then begins to suck on his earlobe.


	3. Chapter 3

'Soon' will turn out to be 'very soon'. And strangely enough, the matter is decided for Kurt by a cat.

Back in February, after David's _incident_ (as Dave's mother insists on calling it) Kurt's father had called Paul Karofsky to see how Dave was doing and to let Paul know that he could call him anytime to talk. Paul had taken Burt up on his offer and the two had quickly become good friends.

So the first warm-ish spring Saturday in May, Paul invites the entire Hudson-Hummel clan over for a cookout. Burt mentions that Paul is hopeful that Carole's loving, accepting example might influence Dave's mother, who's still refusing to accept her son's sexuality, but Dave and Kurt have had long conversations about Dave's mother. Kurt's not holding his breath.

Shortly after they arrive at the Karofskys' house, Dave manages to get Kurt alone long enough to kiss him silly. When Kurt feels something bumping against his leg, he stops kissing Dave to investigate and finds a large, fluffy, black and white tuxedo cat weaving between his legs and head-butting his shin.

"Well, hello," Kurt says to the cat and Dave grins. He bends to scoop up the cat and then holds the loudly purring animal against his chest while Kurt reaches over to give it a scratch behind the ear.

"It's about time my two best boys meet," Dave says. "Rhett," Dave murmurs to the cat, "this is Kurt. Kurt, Rhett."

"Rhett?" Kurt asks, biting back a smile.

"Shut up," Dave laughs. "I was nine years old, spending the summer with my grandparents, and I'd been watching 'Gone With the Wind', over and over – and _over _- with my grandmother. It was her favorite movie." He looks up at Kurt and smiles. "At the end of the summer, when it was time to go home, she told me I could have one of her cat's kittens and I asked for a boy kitten so that I could name it 'Rhett' because he - well, Clark Gable, I guess - was my favorite part of the movie."

Kurt's smile breaks free. "And you didn't figure out _then _that you might be gay?" he says with a wink.

Dave rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever," but he's smiling, too. He bends his head and kisses Rhett soundly right between his furry ears. "We've been together ever since, haven't we buddy?"

"David, put the cat down and go get the bag of ice from the freezer in the garage," Dave's mother says, coolly, and Dave and Kurt both jump a little at her sudden, unexpected appearance. Dave looks nervous and Kurt knows he's wondering how much she saw (did she see them kissing?) and heard (did she hear them discussing Dave's little-boy-attraction to Clark Gable?)

Dave ducks his head and takes off, Kurt right behind him, Rhett still in his arms, and he doesn't put Rhett down until they pass the cat's toy-filled pet bed, where Dave deposits him gently.

After that, the evening starts going better, though, Kurt thinks. His dad and Paul Karofsky never seem to run out of stories to tell each other and Mrs. Karofsky _does_ seem to be getting along well with Carole. The food is great and when everyone is pretty much stuffed and it's beginning to get dark, they leave the Karofsky's back patio and go into the living room where the parents talk over wine, and Dave and Kurt make faces at each other from across the room over everything – the way Dave's dad snorts when he laughs, the belch that slips out of Carole because she's had a little too much wine, and most of all, because of the way Finn keeps trying, unsuccessfully, to sneakily paw at Rachel right there in front of everyone – and they try to stifle their laughter.

Everything is going well until Dave goes to the kitchen to refill his glass of Coke and Rhett saunters in and curls up in the corner of Dave's chair in his absence. It's a plush armchair and very wide so when Dave returns, rather than make Rhett move, Dave begins trying to squeeze himself into the remaining space. Kurt laughs watching him twist and turn and contort his large body into the too-small space so that his nine-year-old cat can snooze on undisturbed, and beside Kurt on the loveseat, Carole giggles, too.

Kurt shakes his head fondly and thinks, 'This is what you get when David Karofsky loves you. He'll do _anything_ for you; he'll sacrifice his own comfort and convenience and even his dignity for your happiness.' The truth of this hits Kurt and suddenly, his chest feels tight like he can barely draw in a full breath.

Dave will dress in a gorilla suit and shower you with cards and gifts for Valentine's Day.

He'll give you flowers in a crowded high school hallway.

He'll nearly burst with pride over your accomplishments even when those very accomplishments may take you away from him.

He'll pass on drinking at his favorite bar because he's driving you home and your safety is too important to him to risk it.

He'll give you his jacket when it's cold.

He'll stop when you say 'stop' even though his dick is hard and his balls are blue, and he'll wait patiently and sweetly until _you're_ ready.

And in that moment, Kurt knows. David loves him, and he loves David. They're not just 'in love'. It's not lust or infatuation or convenience. It's _love_. The realization is a relief and something inside Kurt unfurls, his chest loosens, and he draws a deep, cleansing breath.

Dave is still squirming and Kurt is still smiling, probably looking as sappy as Finn does when he's looking at Rachel, when Dave's mother suddenly says, tersely, "Just put the damn cat on the floor, David."

The room goes quiet. Even Finn and Rachel stop nuzzling at each other and look up, Finn wide-eyed and gawking, and Rachel looking nervous and sad. Carole says, "Oh!" and jumps up from her spot on the loveseat beside Kurt. "David, honey, come sit here by Kurt. I can squeeze in next to Burt on the sofa," but before Dave can even stand, his mother is there, pushing at Rhett and shooing him off the chair.

"There, problem solved," she says with false brightness as the cat squawks a startled meow and jumps to the floor. When she returns to her seat, she sees Finn and Rachel watching her and she smiles sweetly at them. "You two are _such_ a cute couple! So, how long have you been together?" she asks, leaning forward as if their answer will be the most interesting thing she's heard all night.

The look on Dave's face makes Kurt want to cry.

It's not long after that Burt stands, thanks the Karofskys for the delicious dinner, and starts making their 'goodbyes'. Dave and his parents follow them out, and on the front porch, while Burt and Paul are shaking hands, Dave suddenly steps forward, his face determined and maybe a little defiant, leans over, and gives Kurt a quick kiss – nothing more than a little peck - followed with, "See you tomorrow, babe."

Dave's mother, in the middle of asking Carole to send her the recipe for the spinach dip Carole had brought, goes suddenly silent. She looks coldly from Dave to Kurt and finally, back to Dave, her mouth twisting in disgust, then turns and just… leaves. Goes back into the house without another word to anyone.

David Karofsky, if he loves you, will _show_ it even if it costs him his homophobic mother's love and approval.

The hurt expression on Dave's face makes Kurt swallow hard against the lump in his throat. Burt is shaking his head and Carole's eyes are huge and watery, her chin quivering. She quickly turns her head and surreptitiously wipes her eyes. Then, plastering on a big, if somewhat shaky smile, she steps forward to hug Dave tightly. "See you tomorrow, honey. You're coming over for pizza and game day, right?"

Dave gives her a grateful smile and nods, while his father, red-faced, turns to Burt. "I'm sorry for… she's…" he begins, but Burt gives his shoulder a squeeze and shakes his head again.

"No need to apologize, Paul. Thanks for having us over." Burt looks over at Dave, points, and says, "Tomorrow, Dave. Reds kicking Nationals ass. One o'clock – be there," and Dave points back, then gives Burt a thumbs up, causing Kurt to smile and roll his eyes at their macho display. As the adults wander towards the car, Kurt can hear his dad telling Paul he's welcome to come watch the game, too.

Finn and Rachel are talking quietly, their heads together, and Kurt sees Finn brush a tear from Rachel's face. Kurt's not surprised. He knows the Berry family understands firsthand the sadness of situations like this; Rachel had once shared with Kurt and Dave that LeRoy had been disowned by his mother when she found out he was gay and that he's never completely gotten over it.

Kurt glances at Dave, watches him take a deep breath and square his shoulders, then walk over to Rachel and say in a loud stage whisper, "What do you think she would've done if I'd used tongue?" Rachel throws her head back and guffaws.

Kurt has never been prouder of his man.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** I'm not trying to be a tease by dragging out the remaining chapters, honest! It's just that I'm sitting here and trying to decide the best way to divide what's left of this story. The pacing is a bit uneven, I know. So far, it's been short little chapters of fluff and now - bam - I'm at 6000+ words of smut (in my defense, it _was_ written for the kink meme, lol) and I don't know whether to divide that into smaller chunks of smut or wait and post all of it at once. This part works as a single chapter, though, so I'm going to go ahead and post it and decide on the rest later. :)

* * *

Now that Kurt has had his Rhett-inspired epiphany – Dave really _does_ love Kurt and Kurt really _does_ love Dave – he doesn't want to wait another minute. He's ready to express that love physically and have sex with Dave, like, _yesterday_. It's time to plan.

As soon as the Hudson-Hummels are back home, Burt and Carole settled in on the sofa, watching a movie, Finn and Rachel sitting at the kitchen table going over the brochures and paperwork Finn had received from Adelphi, Kurt heads straight for his room, dialing Dave's number on his cell as he jogs up the stairs.

Once he's checked on the state of things in the Karofsky household –- _'She's acting like nothing even happened, at least with dad_', Dave reports. '_She won't even look at _me_, though' -– _and given Dave his best, most heartfelt pep talk about how Dave's dad loves him, and _Kurt's_ family loves him, and how family isn't just determined by shared DNA but by shared love, and how you can _choose_ your family instead of just being stuck with the one you were born into, Kurt decides it's time to broach the subject.

"So, I was thinking," Kurt begins. "I know we were planning to go out after Glee rehearsal Tuesday, but…" He hesitates.

"Yeah?" Dave asks, and Kurt can hear a little uncertainty, a touch of apprehension, in Dave's voice and he rushes to reassure him.

"Well, Dad and Carole are leaving Tuesday morning for D.C. and Finn and Rachel have plans with Rachel's dads that night and… well." Kurt ducks his head and turns his face into his phone and finishes in a near-whisper, "I was thinking that maybe you'd rather just… come over here instead of going out."

There's nothing but complete silence from the other end of the phone for a long moment, then Kurt hears a soft breath. "Are you… are you saying what I think you're saying?" Dave asks, hesitant and unsure.

"Yes," Kurt says, simply, and just thinking about the implications of that one word sets up a warm, rhythmic little pulsing in his groin. "If that's okay with you."

Dave laughs softly. "That's _so _okay." Kurt hears more breathing, then Dave says, "_Kurt,_" and his voice is low and rough and the sound goes straight to Kurt's cock.

"Look," Kurt begins, softly, "I know that… well… this is going to be your first time and I want it to be perfect for you. Tell me what you need to make it _perfect_. Candles? Music?" Kurt giggles nervously. "Boxers, or briefs?"

"You," Dave answers. "All I need for it to be perfect is you." That line, Kurt thinks, could be cheesy and trite except that Kurt knows, for Dave, it's completely true.

"You've already got that," Kurt murmurs. He draws a shaky breath. "I guess I'll just wing it," he says, smiling into his phone. "I was thinking… Dad and Carole have a _huge_ garden tub in the master bathroom. Plenty big enough for two." Kurt can hear Dave suck in a breath and he continues, "I've never… I've never done that – shared a bath with someone – so, well, it could be a first for both of us?"

"Fuck… Kurt_,_" Dave says again, and his voice is strained, his breathing loud. Kurt knows what talking about this is doing to Dave because it's doing the same thing to him, and now, Kurt doesn't want to stop.

Kurt's face is hot and he knows it's probably the color of Finn's football jersey when he whispers into his phone, "I'll wash your back, and… and your chest, and… god, I _love _your chest David, I love that line of hair you have that goes right up the middle, and… and the way the hair sort of swirls around your nipples." Kurt and Dave have never been naked together; that's a major milestone they have yet to see, so Kurt realizes he's just inadvertently let Dave know that yes, he _has_ stealthily checked out his bare torso in the locker room on occasion, but it's the mention of Dave's nipples that makes Kurt's face flame hotter. His hips give an involuntary squirm and wriggle as he adds, "I could… if you want… I could…" He pauses, takes a deep breath, and finishes shakily, "I could suck them for you. Your nipples. Would you… would you like that?"

Dave almost sounds pained when he pants out, "Fuck, _yes, _Kurt. Yeah, I think… I mean, it's not like anyone's ever done that to me, but… yeah." After a few noisy breaths, Dave stutters out, "Could you… could you tell me more? Like… what next? After that."

Kurt hesitates. Is this phone sex? It is, he thinks. It _is_ phone sex! And that's something Kurt's never done before, so he's not sure how to continue, but then, "I would… well, your nipples aren't the only thing I would suck," slips out, followed by a soft, little moan. "You're… god, David… I know you're… big. I've felt it. In your jeans." He hears Dave's harsh intake of air. "I want… I want to know what it… _feels_ like. In my… my mouth. What you… taste like." Kurt's hips give another little jerk and he curls in on himself, tucks his chin down to his chest, and whispers into the phone, "I want you to… watch me suck you. See your… see it laying on my… my tongue. See it stretching my mouth."

Dave makes a sound like a sob and abruptly chokes out, "Stop. Kurt… Kurt, stop, or our first time is gonna be right now," he laughs, shakily, "And we're not even in the same room together."

Kurt laughs, too, and feels weirdly proud of himself, feels _powerful_, knowing that his words alone can affect Dave that much. There are other words Kurt could say, words that he knows Dave needs to hear, especially right now when his own mother looks at him with disgust and disappointment, when she even looks at him at all. But no matter how much Dave _needs_ to hear the words, Kurt wouldn't say them if they weren't true. Thing is, they are.

"David?" Kurt says, quietly, seriously, and when Dave answers with an equally quiet 'Yeah?' Kurt continues. "There's something I want to say to you, and I need to say it now. If I don't say it _now_, I'm going to say it sometime when… well, when you won't be sure if I _mean_ it or if it just… sort of slipped out."

"Yeah?" Dave says again, and he's whispering.

Kurt takes a deep, fortifying breath. "I love you. I really, _really_ love you and I think I've loved you for longer than I even realized, if that makes sense."

Dave laughs quietly. "Believe me, that makes perfect sense. To me, anyway," he says. "You know I love you, too, right? I know you didn't believe me before, but you know now that I really do love you?"

For some reason, Kurt's eyes begin to sting and water and he blinks and smiles and nods, then remembers that Dave can't see him and that makes him laugh a little, thickly. "Yeah, I'm beginning to get that."

And Kurt doesn't mean to, he really doesn't, but he can't stop comparing every milestone with Dave to a corresponding one with Blaine – the memories play out in his head like a film in a projector with no 'off' switch. He remembers Blaine, looking tired and bored, chin in hand, lackadaisically saying the words, 'I love you', and himself left wondering how to respond, not knowing exactly what Blaine meant with the words, not knowing exactly how he, himself, felt in return.

It had been an emotionless exchange and this – right now, with Dave – has shown him that telling someone 'I love you' for the first time is scary, and hearing it in return is dizzying, and _feeling_ it is the exact opposite of emotionless. The watering in Kurt's eyes coalesces into a little drop that breaks free and winds its way down Kurt's cheek and he laughs again, a little, with the exhilaration of it all.

"There," he tells Dave, almost smugly, as he wipes the wetness from his face. "Now, if those words should slip out at any point Tuesday night, you'll know that I mean them."

"Ditto," Dave answers, and Kurt can hear the grin in his voice.


End file.
